The Molester of Molester Ville
by big-bird-rocks
Summary: RINSLET, RINSLET, please help me, please help me, Sven tried to molester me! Warnings insde. Everything about this fic is comical, so don't worry about the summary, its not serious


**Title:** The Molester of Molester Ville  
**Author:** big-bird-rocks and little sister  
**Genre:** Humour  
**Rating:** T  
**Disclaimer:** No Black Cat characters were harmed in the making of this fic. Unfortunately I don't own them either. I also borrowed the song from a Bernice Summerfield audio book called "Oh No It Isn't". Also I don't own Michael Jackson or "Eye of the Tiger" bye Survivor.  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Warning:** Humorous character death, reverences to child molestering and mild sexual references.  
**Summary:** RINSLET, RINSLET, please help me, please help me, Sven tried to molester me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**Dedication:** To my sister's friend who died of cancer this year

Behind the stage

**Sven:** I'm not that bad a kisser am I?

**Train:** Of course your not. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Rinslet: **Come on Train, at least you didn't have to watch it

**Train: ** Yeah, but I was the one KISSING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Eve: ** I don't see what is so wrong about a man kissing another man

**Train: **Its just princess, I like girls, and the fact that the male which I had my first maleXmale kissing event was with him (pointing at Sven)

**Sven: **I'm not that bad, I'm a chivalrous gentleman

**Bird: **You are? And WELCOME BACK EVERYONE

**Eve: **Great, what are you going to do to us this time

**Bird: **You'll just have to wait and see

**Little Sister: **YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH

**Sven: **Well then lets just hurry up and get this over with

**Everyone: **YAAAAAAAAAAAAY

**Bird: **Ok, Ok, TOOOOOOOOOO THEEEEEE STOOOOOOOOOORY

**The Molester of Molester Ville**

Hello, my name is Detective John Thomas and welcome to CLOSED CASES. Today I am going to read to you from file 521 of the child molester closed case files. People might say that me reading personal information about those who have been put away and are being rehabilitated for those crimes is wrong, but I think that the public has a right know how sick and twisted some people are. What I am going to read is written like a story, mostly because our writers patched it up so that it is easier for everyone listening to understand. So here it is:

People think that molestering is always a bad thing, that people always know what they are doing. But sometimes people do it by accident, like poor Sven Vollfied, who accidentally molestered 5672 children. Now we see a bit of his molestering life in the form of his adopted family. Rinslet Walker, Train Heartnet, Eve, Sven and of course who could leave out the Train obsessed Creed.

We zoom in now, on this fine sunny day, with the picture of Rinslet Walker, singing while hanging her bloomers out to dry.

"I'm going to hang out my bloomers on the washing line" Rinslet sings "OOOOOOOH, look at the size of them, looks like I'm sending a message to sailers. Well perhaps I am!!!!!!!!!! La di da di la da da."

She continue to sing randomly until Train comes running out of the house screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"

"OOOOOOOOH LOOK, there's my good for nothing adopted son Train, and he better have my spare set of bloomers with him"

"OMG OMG OMG, Rinslet help me. Sven tried to molester me" screamed Train

"Molester, MOLESTER. All I did was grab your ass. That is not molestering" reasoned Sven

"Um Sven, yes it is" said Eve

"Sven, how many people have you done this too" Asked Rinslet, tentatively

"Ummmmmmmm, 5672, its not that many……….really" said Sven "I didn't mean too"

"MOLESTER, MOLESTER, MOLESTER" they all screamed, pointing at Sven

"OOOOOOOOOOO, I wish Train would molester me" Creed said dreamily

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW" said Train, disgusted "I would never do that"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW" cried Creed and walks of muttering "I'll get you to do that someday. I'll get you to grab my buttocks and squeeze my….."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW" squealed everyone "We can still here you Creed"

"I am the sssssssssssserpant king" hisses Sven

"AH Sven……….What are you doing?" Asked Rinslet

"I'm talking to this baby" said Sven

"There's no baby there Sven" stated Eve

"NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Rinslet exclaimed, watching Sven lie down on his back and start humping the air, singing.

"It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all

With the eye of the tiger" Sven sings

"I think he's gone a little crazy" whispered Train to Rinslet

Sven suddenly roles over and stalks up to Eve on four legs and goes "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" with the paw thing going and everything.

"Sven are you trying to seduce me?" asked Eve

"Nooooooooooooo" Sven say, embarrassed, eyes moving rapidly left to right.

Suddenly Eve toppled over and died, with her feet in the air and her tongue hanging out.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Sven

"PRINCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES, WHY IS YOUR TONGUE HANGING OUT?" screamed Train

"What the hell" said Rinslet

"Well now, this distraction is a good enough distraction for me to grab this fit young man's bottom" said Michael Jackson

Now we leave the demented family on a happier note for some, but not for others. Sven was arrested, with charges of molestering and man slaughter, because he was also blamed for the death of Eve. Some might say that is quite sad, but others will say the Molester of Molester Ville has finally been put behind bars. Personally I think that the children who have been permanently mentally damaged by Sven and their families will finally be able to find some closure. Although I don't think the children will be very worried since they are all in mental instutions.

Well I have got to say goodbye for now. Next week we will be talking about the serial rapist who just got caught last week. So see you next week on CLOSED CASES.

**The End**

**Sven: **Quite clever, doing it as a TV show.

**Train: **(in a corner rocking backwards and forwards, reapeating) Must stay away from green haired man. Must stay away from green haired man.

**Sven: **Come on Train, I was only acting

**Train: **It seemed real

**Rinslet: **Maybe you shouldn't of grabbed his ass quite as hard

**Eve: **Yeah I looked at it, it actually bruised

**Sven: **YOU LOOKED AT HIS ASS

**Creed: **I wish I could

**Little Sister: **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

**Bird: **That is pretty disgusting Eve, although I'm sure he has quite a nice ass

**Little Sister: **What?

**Bird: **well it is pretty nice

**Sven: **What about my ass?

**Bird: **Your old, even my cat's got a better ass then you

**Sven: **Does your cat have a nice ass?

**Little Sister: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Sven: **AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW

**Bird:** (blushes red, pulling little sister away) Well we've got to go now bye everyone

**Everyone: **BYE, and good riddance

What did everyone think, please comment please, I live for comments

Byebye for now………

**Big-bird-rocks and little sister**


End file.
